‘It’s the start of a new year and I have already received my first unsolicited d**k pic’ (Picture: Myles Goode/Katerina Robinson)
For this week’s How I Do It, our series that sees people gives us a glimpse into their sex life every Friday, we hear from actress and comedian Katerina Robinson.
Katerina is 28, straight and single. She usually has sex about twice a week and describes her relationship with sex as ‘healthy, but slightly toxic’.
She’s not shy about making the first move, saying that sex is usually initiated by her or by ‘thirst trapping on Instagram’.
However, the pandemic has naturally cramped Katerina’s style somewhat.
This week, we hear about how she’s doing with navigating the world of online dating…
It’s the start of a new year and I have already received my first unsolicited dick pic. It’s safe to say that is not how I wanted to begin 2022, but nevertheless, we move!
Since the pandemic, I’m in full pussy poverty, and I’ll be honest I just want my life of plenty back. I thought I’d start to tackle this issue by re-joining Hinge and taking some nudes.
I love dressing up – wearing stockings, suspenders, naughty outfits, things like that – so I always find it very fulfilling taking hot nudes. I’ll never understand why when a woman takes a nude it’s literally a work of art, but when a man sends a one it’s like a mugshot of his dick.
It doesn’t really turn me on. Anyway, I haven’t swiped anyone I like yet, but hopefully, by the end of the week, I’ll have secured a hook-up.
Today I posted some thirst traps of my booty to Instagram, and naturally, I was flooded with multiple DMs (mainly fire emojis).
To my delight, I started chatting to a guy I used to f**k. The conversation started with the standard pleasantries – ‘How have you been?’ ‘It’s been so long’, etc.
It then took a swift turn to ‘I wanna f**k you from behind’ and ‘I wanna blow your back out.’
I thought I’d entertain it as I was horny, and I recently bought this new vibrator that I’ve been dying to try out. I love buying sex toys, it’s become an unhealthy spending problem of mine.
I have my dildo, butt plug, handcuffs then my little bullet, which is perfect for carrying in your handbag.
We enjoyed a fun afternoon of sexting and he loved the nudes I sent. I usually keep an archive of hot pics on my phone, as the majority of the time when guys want to sext, I’m in a onesie with Sudocrem on my spots. It’s nice to have a collection of sexy snaps just in case.
‘Hopefully, I’ll be getting wined, dined and 69ined on Friday’ (Picture: Katerina Robinson)
Today I matched with a guy on Hinge. I told myself this year I’m not going to just date guys with dark hair and beards, so of course, I matched with a guy who had dark hair and a beard.
He lived in East London, proper edgy type, looked like he had big dick energy, so we kept chatting!
He invited me for dinner and drinks on Friday in Shoreditch. Being a self-employed actress and comedian I’m mainly poor, so I never turn down the offer of free food.
We exchanged some flirty texts and I definitely think I have secured a hookup, so hopefully, I’ll be getting wined, dined and 69ined on Friday.
Today I woke up, made myself a green tea – apparently green tea increases the intensity of orgasms by 30%, so I’m trying to have it before I masturbate or have sex.
I will usually masturbate to porn, and I sometimes save my favourite links and keep them in my notes (just for reference) or to send to a guy, like ‘I want you to do this to me’.
I’ve been curious to try another dating app other than Hinge, so I thought I’d download Bumble. I have used Tinder in the past, but we all know Tinder is for anal.
I then went to the gym, stared at my arse for a good five mins to see if it’s getting bigger and thought about what I should wear for my date tomorrow. I haven’t been on a date in a while, so I’m excited to actually meet someone and see what happens.
I’m feeling really excited today as I’m going on my Hinge date. Naturally, I decided to fake tan, shave everywhere (just in case I do end up shagging him) and I gave my pussy a little pep talk – like: ‘Don’t let me down, please don’t randomly bleed’.
I decided to wear a cute dress teamed with some thigh-high boots – I feel that says ‘I’m innocent, but I’m also a little bit of a hoe’.
I met him in Shoreditch, we went for tapas and after a couple of tequila shots, I went back to his flat.
My initial thoughts were ‘wow he has a really nice flat’. It’s bougie, in central London, and he only works in marketing… is he a drug dealer on the side? I felt like I was walking into an Ikea showroom.
My second thoughts were ‘hmm I wonder if he’ll f**k me on his balcony?’
We started kissing, touching, and I finally thought ‘it’s my time, I’m going to get laid after months of dickpression’.
He was incredibly well-endowed, so even tossing him off felt like a full-on workout. We had sex twice (once in his bedroom and once on his balcony).
I thought the balcony sex was really hot. Even though it was fairly discreet, I do like the idea of someone catching a glimpse. He also told me I looked amazing in reverse cowgirl position, which is the best compliment I’ve had in weeks.
This morning I woke up at my Hinge date’s flat, we had the obligatory morning sex and then I was kind of expecting some sort of breakfast.
My biggest pet peeve is having sex with a guy, and they don’t even offer you food in the morning. Like, at least get me a Sainsbury’s meal deal. He made me a green tea, and then I decided to leave as I was absolutely starving.
I found the nearest Pret, which isn’t difficult in London as they’re bloody everywhere. I bought myself an overpriced pain au chocolat and contemplated when he’ll text me.
I hope he does, as I don’t want him to be another guy who just watches my Instagram stories every day till one of us gets married, has kids and eventually dies.
Today I decided to cleanse my soul and made myself a smoothie. Mr Hinge did text, but his chat hasn’t exactly been amazing so I’m not taking it too seriously.
I’m really excited as next week I’m heading to Norwich to film a mockumentary about sex and relationships. I’m meeting with four different sex experts, and I’m very intrigued to learn more and further my sex knowledge.
I don’t know if there’s much good dick in Norwich, but we’ll see what the week brings me. I’m hoping that in 2022 I’ll be having more frequent sex and exploring my sexual desires with someone on a similar wavelength as me.
How I Do It
In Metro.co.uk’s How I Do It you get a sneak peek into a week of a person’s sex and love life – from vanilla love-making to fetishes, threesomes and polyamorous relationships, they reveal it all.
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