How many dates should we be going on each month? (Credits: Getty Images)
This week Love Island burst back onto our telly screens, and it’s safe to say that we were all a little taken aback by contestant Tasha Ghouri’s shocking dating admission.
During her opening VT, Tasha, who is the first ever deaf contestant to appear on the ITV2 dating show, revealed that she thinks her ‘life is a shambles’ before noting that she goes on ‘six to 10 dates each month’.
Viewers at home thought that the number seemed completely unfathomable, and quickly took to social media to discuss the admission.
One person summed up the reaction pretty neatly as: ‘Tasha thinks 6-10 dates a month is shambles – then there’s me who’s had one school romance in year 9 and no dates since’.
Is Tasha right to believe that going on two dates a week is a poor showing?
Should single people be upping their mingling efforts?
Are we the problem?
To answer these questions, we asked the experts: how many dates should we be going on?
‘Going on six to ten dates every four weeks is excessive,’ Rachael Lloyd, eharmony’s relationship expert, tells Metro.co.uk.
‘It implies it’s just a case of “take a ticket, boys” and we’ll see how we get on.
‘It doesn’t give each date the time to share their attractive traits and bond properly with Tasha, because her high expectations and sense of urgency compromise any budding intimacy.
‘She’s clearly a woman on a mission to love, and she isn’t taking any hostages.’
Schedule in too many dates and it can start to feel like a factory line (Picture: Getty/Metro.co.uk)
So, just how many dates ‘should’ we, as single people, be going on each month if we’re dedicated to finding the loves of our lives?
‘This is very subjective for each person,’ Rachael explains.
‘I know women who date once or twice a year, I also know women who date non-stop – the main thing is to consider your goal.’
Revealing her expert opinion on how many dates singletons should be going on each week, Rachael dropped a bombshell that may surprise some.
‘I’d suggest no more than two dates a week, and if you’re in any doubt about someone, give each first date a second,’ she says.
So that’s eight dates a week maximum. If your number is coming in far lower than that, that’s not a bad thing.
Dating can feel like a numbers game, and it’s tempting to think that the more people you meet, the more you up your odds of finding your perfect match.
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But the truth is that by loading up our schedule with and endless stream of dating sessions, we might not be giving people a proper chance to shine.
‘We so often make erroneous, reckless judgements about people because we feel like there’s an endless supply of newer options,’ notes Rachael.
‘This is the downside of many swipe apps.’
Plus, this can lead to dating burnout – triggering apathy towards finding love.
Those in the dating game might be better placed to focus on quality over quantity – and take a moment to work out what you really want rather than taking a scattergun approach of booking in as many dates as possible.
‘Re-evaluate your own relationship history and dating style preferably with a therapist or coach and understand why you make the decisions you do,’ Rachael suggests.
‘Then write a list of the kind of partner you’d really like meet.
‘Be super specific. Include dealbreakers too. This means when you’re meeting new guys you can be much more enlightened about the choices you make.’
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