How to embrace oystering, the dating trend all about enjoying single life

The world is your oyster (Picture: Getty/Metro.co.uk)

Are you ready to get back into the dating scene with gusto? Well, you’re not the only one.

The team at dating app Badoo came up with the term ‘oystering’ – meaning seeing the world of romance as your oyster after a breakup – after a survey of 1,000 UK daters found that almost half of them (46%) feel excited to get dating again, and 50% are ready to get 2022 off to a strong dating start. 

Their global dating expert, Sophie Mann, said: ‘Dating is daunting after a relationship, but it doesn’t need to be. Ultimately, dating should be fun, and what better way to get over a breakup than having some fun?

‘We’ve seen many people getting back into dating, and we predict this new trend of seizing the “dating” day will shine through as many singletons are feeling confident to go out there and get what they want.’

If you want some tips on how to jump back into single life, we’ve got some advice from Badoo’s Natasha Briefel on how to oyster with your chest.

Make sure you’re ready 

Funnily enough, trying to enjoy dating before you’re actually ready to date again can kind of get in the way of the fun part.

Don’t worry about rushing back out there – the dating scene will still be there when you’re ready for it.

‘Putting yourself back out there after a breakup might be easier said than done,’ Natasha tells us. ‘You have to make sure that you’re really ready before doing so to protect yourself from further heartbreak.

‘Allow yourself to take some time out before embracing oystering – the end of a relationship is a great time to take some time to reflect and come to terms with the break-up, and that’s something that can’t be rushed.’

Colourful studio portrait of two women‘It’s exciting to get back out there’ (Picture: Getty Images)

Don’t put pressure on yourself

Don’t worry about setting boundaries to keep things casual from the get-go.

Natasha highlights a feature on Badoo that allows you to make your intentions clear from the start, adding that this kind of ‘clarity is really key, so everyone feels comfortable at all stages.’

Don’t try and find the same person you had before

Part of the joy of being single is the ability to try a wide range of new things with new people, so why opt for a carbon copy of someone with whom it didn’t work out?

‘Oystering is all about seeing the world as your oyster, so date anyone you please,’ Natasha says. ‘Try exploring and connecting with different types of people than you might not normally.

‘Whether you’ve been away for six months or six years, the dating scene changes so often, so you’re sure to have a totally new experience.’

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Remember, dating should be fun

At the end of the day, dating was always meant to be fun.

Natasha says: ‘After having a break from dating, it’s exciting to get back out there. Revel in the thrill of putting yourself back out there, getting to know new people, and making new connections.

‘Being single is never a bad thing; it’s a time to enjoy yourself and find out what you might want from your next dating journey.’

She adds: ‘Have new dating experiences, and make new memories because there’s no better opportunity than now.’

Dating terms and trends, defined

Blue-stalling: When two people are dating and acting like a couple, but one person in the partnership states they’re unready for any sort of label or commitment (despite acting in a different manner).

Breadcrumbing: Leaving ‘breadcrumbs’ of interest – random noncommittal messages and notifications that seem to lead on forever, but don’t actually end up taking you anywhere worthwhile Breadcrumbing is all about piquing someone’s interest without the payoff of a date or a relationship.

Caspering: Being a friendly ghost – meaning yes, you ghost, but you offer an explanation beforehand. Caspering is all about being a nice human being with common decency. A novel idea.

Catfish: Someone who uses a fake identity to lure dates online.

Clearing: Clearing season happens in January. It’s when we’re so miserable thanks to Christmas being over, the cold weather, and general seasonal dreariness, that we will hook up with anyone just so we don’t feel completely unattractive. You might bang an ex, or give that creepy guy who you don’t really fancy a chance, or put up with truly awful sex just so you can feel human touch. It’s a tough time. Stay strong.

Cloutlighting: Cloutlighting is the combo of gaslighting and chasing social media clout. Someone will bait the person they’re dating on camera with the intention of getting them upset or angry, or making them look stupid, then share the video for everyone to laugh at.

Cockfishing: Also known as catcocking. When someone sending dick pics uses photo editing software or other methods to change the look of their penis, usually making it look bigger than it really is.

Cuffing season: The chilly autumn and winter months when you are struck by a desire to be coupled up, or cuffed.

Firedooring: Being firedoored is when the access is entirely on one side, so you’re always waiting for them to call or text and your efforts are shot down.

Fishing: When someone will send out messages to a bunch of people to see who’d be interested in hooking up, wait to see who responds, then take their pick of who they want to get with. It’s called fishing because the fisher loads up on bait, waits for one fish to bite, then ignores all the others.

Flashpanner: Someone who’s addicted to that warm, fuzzy, and exciting start bit of a relationship, but can’t handle the hard bits that might come after – such as having to make a firm commitment, or meeting their parents, or posting an Instagram photo with them captioned as ‘this one’.

Freckling: Freckling is when someone pops into your dating life when the weather’s nice… and then vanishes once it’s a little chillier.

Gatsbying: To post a video, picture or selfie to public social media purely for a love interest to see it.

Ghosting: Cutting off all communication without explanation.

Grande-ing: Being grateful, rather than resentful, for your exes, just like Ariana Grande.

Hatfishing: When someone who looks better when wearing a hat has pics on their dating profile that exclusively show them wearing hats.

Kittenfishing: Using images that are of you, but are flattering to a point that it might be deceptive. So using really old or heavily edited photos, for example. Kittenfishes can also wildly exaggerate their height, age, interests, or accomplishments.

Lovebombing: Showering someone with attention, gifts, gestures of affection, and promises for your future relationship, only to distract them from your not-so-great bits. In extreme cases this can form the basis for an abusive relationship.

Microcheating: Cheating without physically crossing the line. So stuff like emotional cheating, sexting, confiding in someone other than your partner, that sort of thing.

Mountaineering: Reaching for people who might be out of your league, or reaching for the absolute top of the mountain.

Obligaswiping: The act of endlessly swiping on dating apps and flirt-chatting away with no legitimate intention of meeting up, so you can tell yourself you’re doing *something* to put yourself out there.

Orbiting: The act of watching someone’s Instagram stories or liking their tweets or generally staying in their ‘orbit’ after a breakup.

Paperclipping: When someone sporadically pops up to remind you of their existence, to prevent you from ever fully moving on.

Preating: Pre-cheating – laying the groundwork and putting out feelers for cheating, by sending flirty messages or getting closer to a work crush.

Prowling: Going hot and cold when it comes to expressing romantic interest.

R-bombing: Not responding to your messages but reading them all, so you see the ‘delivered’ and ‘read’ signs and feel like throwing your phone across the room.

Scroogeing: Dumping someone right before Christmas so you don’t have to buy them a present.

Shadowing: Posing with a hot friend in all your dating app photos, knowing people will assume you’re the attractive one and will be too polite to ask.

Shaveducking: Feeling deeply confused over whether you’re really attracted to a person or if they just have great facial hair.

Sneating:When you go on dates just for a free meal.

Stashing: The act of hiding someone you’re dating from your friends, family, and social media.

Submarineing: When someone ghosts, then suddenly returns and acts like nothing happened.

V-lationshipping:When someone you used to date reappears just around Valentine’s Day, usually out of loneliness and desperation.

You-turning: Falling head over heels for someone, only to suddenly change your mind and dip.

Zombieing: Ghosting then returning from the dead. Different from submarineing because at least a zombie will acknowledge their distance.

 

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