‘Micro-dating’ might actually help you spend more quality time with a partner – this is how to do it

‘Dating is more about the quality of interaction you have – not the time you spend on it’ (Picture: Getty/Metro.co.uk)

Our ‘always on’ culture means we’re constantly finding ourselves pressed for time.

Whether it’s juggling work, money, health, family or a social life – there are so many things we have on our plate, at any given moment.

As a result, making quality time for a partner can sometimes fall to the bottom of the list. 

This is where micro-dating comes into play.

What is micro-dating?

Micro-dating refers to the technique of creating smaller pockets of time for a date – so rather than having a whole evening dedicated to one, you might have half an hour, or even just 10 minutes.

But it’s not just strapped-for-time parents who might benefit from this idea.

Any couple, at any age, might find this approach to dating (one with a fixed time period) an easy way to make quality time for one another – particularly considering many have let ‘date nights’ slip following the pandemic.

Psychotherapist Lohani Noor, from Counselling Directory, explains that it works in a similar way to a ‘quickie’ in sex – AKA, a rush of excitement that’s no less enjoyable.

‘There is nothing like a quickie, whether it’s an urgent and intense sexual union just before dashing to work, or five minutes of uninterrupted directed focus on nothing other than you and your partner,’ she tells Metro.co.uk.

‘It kind of makes sense that in our fast-moving, bite-sized society the way we interact socially and romantically will also shift to accommodate small intense chunks of experience.’

Sexologist and relationship coach Ness Cooper adds that it can actually be a more practical and efficient way of spending time with someone.

She says: ‘Social expectations on dating over the years have become more and more extravagant and it’s likely we’ve forgotten that we don’t need a lot of time or money to have an enjoyable moment with someone on a date. 

‘Dating is more about the quality of interaction you have – not the time you spend on it. For some, multiple short dates may result in more quality time together – rather than arranging one big weekly date night.

‘And sometimes it can be really hard to stay focused on longer dates so micro ones can help you fully keep your attention.’

Also Ness stresses that it’s particularly great for any couples who might find themselves stuck in a bit of a rut at the moment.

She continues: ‘Anyone can enjoy micro-dating, and it may be the excitement someone needs after a dry patch.

‘Micro dates can motivate you to add in elements of regular self-care – such as getting a shower and dressing nicely quickly to see someone you like. This can be motivating.

‘And they can often be arranged within short notice, which is also a bonus, and this can add an element of spontaneity.’

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How you can try micro-dating:

So, you want to give it a go?

Experts suggests the following:

  • Start small – like a coffee between work breaks or even a 15-minute phone call date.
  • Set times – be clear on what time you’re ending the date and stick to it.
  • Book an activity with a set time – like a craft class, an escape room, ice skating or something that has a precise time limit for you to both follow.
  • Don’t underestimate the power of the start and end of the day: a quick morning coffee together first-thing, or a catch-up before bed. These are two ways micro-dating could work for you.

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

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