What puts you off on a date? (Picture: Getty/iStockphoto)
We all know what it’s like to get the ick.
The sudden and often irreversible revulsion that can put you off your crush in seconds – and it can be triggered by all sorts of weird and wonderful things.
But, what causes the ick is different for everyone, so hearing about other people’s quirky turnoffs can be incredibly revealing. So, you’ll be pleased to know that young daters on Tinder have been revealing all.
Sharing the things that make their skin crawl, to the new ways they like to form romantic connections post-pandemic, hearing how Gen Z want to date might help you overhaul your own love life.
What gives Tinder singles the ick?
The ick is stronger than ever among Gen Z. From egocentric personalities, to flashy lifestyles – here’s the top five things Tinder members say you should avoid, if you want to increase your chances of match success:
- Group photos or the same pose. Young singletons lead busy lives and they don’t have time to play spot the difference between the pics in your profile.
- A long list of requirements. Yes your bio should share with your potential matches a glimpse of your true self and something interesting about yourself, but keep it about you. No one wants to hear all of the extremely niche things that tick your boxes.
- Showing off. Being overly ‘car confident’ or bragging about the weights you lift in the gym isn’t going to score you more points in the love stakes.
- Using emojis unironically. It’s as simple as that, emojis should only be used ironically (according to Gen Z).
- Being too keen. We get it, you fancy your match and you really want to take them on a date. But sending them three chasers and asking why they’re not replying isn’t the way to go about it.
Dating trends for young Tinder users
The last couple of years have changed our priorities – we no longer want to meet people or date in the same way. Here are the biggest dating trend changes you need to be aware of:
Keeping options open has replaced emotional intensity
Karen, 19 from Glasgow, says that now things have opened up, she’s adopting a more relaxed attitude to dating, which means she is just seeing how it goes, before committing to anything too soon.
‘Chatting beforehand is super key, but it’s great to now have the option to date virtually or IRL,’ she says.
‘This means that I have multiple routes to getting to know someone better. After I became so emotionally invested in one person during the pandemic, now I feel more free to get to know a few different people.
‘Whether it’s finding out if we like the same music, going on an activity date to see them in a new light, or checking that they know my niche TikTok references – I like to get the full picture and take my time to commit.’
Spontaneous and active dates are big right now (Picture: Getty Images)
Renewed zest for life and untraditional dates
With lockdowns in the rearview mirror (we hope), singletons are eager to make the most of their freedom to date IRL.
Connor, 20, from Chester says they discovered a newfound confidence when they were ‘freed from my four walls’.
In place of drinks at a bar, or a picnic in the park, young people like Connor are continuing the trend of activity dates, as they discovered a real love for them post-lockdown, with mentions in bios up for everything from ‘bookstore’ (+175%) to ‘mini golf’ (135%) and even ‘roller skating’ (+20%).
Connor is: ‘looking to find someone who is up for having a good time and getting back out there, whether it’s going to a Drag Show with me or shopping in the city.’
Lives are more fast-paced and more spontaneous
As life has returned to normal, schedules and diaries are much busier and as a result, arranging dates is a last minute thing. However, last minute, doesn’t mean less exciting, as Gen Z are feeling their most spontaneous yet.
Charlotte, 23, from Edinburgh recently went on a Tinder date which was super last minute, as they were both in the area and just decided to grab a quick coffee.
‘Things went from 0 to 60 real fast,’ she says. ‘One minute I was enjoying a cuppa with my date and connecting over how we both have the travel bug, the next I was buying his van to do up with my friend and travel around Europe. We’re now planning our second date. A win – win.’
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Common ground is key but differences are important too
Shared interests are of growing importance to Gen Z, as they prioritise common ground over looks (64%), political views (61%) and even a sense of humour (48%).
But when dating someone, they’re keen to embrace differences, retain their own independence and learn something new from their match.
Seb, 21, from Newcastle says: ‘I think of it as a Venn diagram – it’s important for me to have some things in common with the guys I date, especially if we have the same music taste, then I know we’ll definitely get along. At the same time, I also really value someone’s differences and think that ultimately, a happy medium is key.’
In saying that, differences in lifestyle is a whole different ball game.
Seb adds: ‘I avoid guys that are on a totally different vibe to me. So if I can tell from their profile that they’re out every night of the week, I won’t be matching with them, as I’d much rather stay in to cook and do something chill.
‘There’s differences of interests and then there are differences in the way we want to live and hang out, that would probably result in us never seeing each other.’
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