10 signs you’ve met ‘the one’ (and 10 that you definitely haven’t)

Are you the one? (Picture: Getty/Metro.co.uk)

When you’re on the dating scene, it can be tricky to tell which people are worth committing to.

That’s especially true in our modern world of swiping on apps and trawling through social media, when there always seems to be a better option.

How do you know if someone is really right for you?

The experts over at Illicit Encounters are here to help.

They surveyed 2,000 people to find out the top ten signs that someone is the one.

Coming in at first place? Strong physical chemistry that doesn’t fade entirely away after the first few months of dating.

In second place was communication, or ‘we never run out of things to say’ – crucial to 78% of those questioned.

Other key contenders include a sense of humour and having shared values when it comes to family.

The top ten signs you've met 'the one', according to the survey:

  1. Strong physical chemistry which doesn’t die after the first few months of dating
  2. We never run out of things to say
  3. They still love me when I am being a jerk/unreasonable
  4. We laugh at the same things
  5. We share the same family values
  6. I can be myself with them
  7. We share the same politics/outlook on life
  8. We are of similar intelligence
  9. We like each other’s friends/families
  10. You are addicted to your other half – in a good way

It’s worth noting that Illicit Encounters is an affair site, so perhaps they’re inclined to tell you that your current partner isn’t the right person, or to convince you that it’s so hard to meet ‘the one’ that the only answer is cheating.

After all, the more cheating happens, the more money Illicit Encounters stands to make.

Jessica Leoni, sex and relationship expert with the site, said: ‘Most of us start out looking for The One when we begin dating and then realise that it is a wholly unattainable objective.

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‘The main reason why is sex. Unless you have insane physical chemistry, and there are couples for whom this is true, sex just gets boring after you have been with the same person for a few years, and lots of people start to desire the excitement of a new relationship – either through an affair or beginning afresh with someone else.

‘Lots of people really think they are with The One in the first few years of a relationship but when the passion dies the person who was once your soulmate just becomes a really good friend.’

The survey also asked people to list off the signs that someone is not the right match, and this differed slightly between the genders.

Top signs you're NOT with 'the one'

Women’s top five reasons they’re not with the one:

  1. Lack of physical chemistry
  2. We sometimes struggle for conversation
  3. I can open up better to my friends
  4. He is more interested in boozing/football than me
  5. He can be selfish at time

Men’s top five reasons why they are not with the one:

  1. Boring sex
  2. I have more fun with my mates
  3. My partner is always complaining
  4. We struggle for things to say
  5. She doesn’t like my friends/family

Top of these lists for both genders were issues with physical intimacy or sexual attraction, and poor communication pops up, too.

We’d like to note that these issues are very fixable – perhaps try talking to your partner about them before you try to use an affair as a very poor sticking plaster.

You shouldn’t have to settle, but if you have found someone you adore despite minor issues, it’s worth trying to save the relationship… or end it, rather than breaking someone’s trust and cheating.

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing [email protected].

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