How to have a thriving sex life when living with other people

Keeping it down doesn’t have to limit your pleasure (Picture: Getty)

Living with other people – whether that’s flatmates or your parents – comes with lots of complications.

From silent battles over bathroom time in the morning, to resentment about cleaning communal spaces, and struggling to get time to yourself.

But one of the hardest things about sharing your living space with others has to be the impact it can have on your sex life.

Having to be quiet during sex, or worrying that someone might barge in at any moment, can seriously ruin the mood – and can put you off having sex altogether.

According to 2022 research, 5.3 million people in the UK aged 18-24 live with their parents. So, with more young people than ever living in a house share or with parents, we need to find ways to navigate happy, healthy sex lives – even when we don’t have much space or time to ourselves.

Ditte Jensen is a sexual wellness expert at Sinful, and she has compiled her top tips on how to maintain a thriving sex life whilst limiting the disruption to your housemates.

‘Couples living with parents or housemates might slightly adapt how they explore each other sexually to ensure that they maintain a thriving sex life,’ says Ditte.

‘Whether this be to experiment with quiet toys or to switch up your location. Remember, compromising on noise does not mean compromising on pleasure.’

From changing up your routines, to utilising background noise, these tips will help you and your partner to maintain a good sex life as privately as possible:

Navigate your routines

‘Understanding the routine of the people you live with is one of the first steps in knowing when you and your partner are able to have some quality alone time,’ says Ditte.

‘Whether it be knowing the time housemates go to sleep or when they’re at work, make sure to utilise these moments where you are alone for you and your partner to be with each other.’

Ditte suggests that you try adapting your own schedule around this if you want to maximise the amount of time the two of you have.

Background noise

Ditte says background noise will be your friend in these situations.

‘Whether that’s playing some music or putting the TV on,’ says Ditte. ‘Each of these can help to disguise the sound of you and your partner.

‘However, keep this to a reasonable noise level as you do not want to draw attention to yourselves for blasting the late-night news across the neighbourhood.’

Get to know your bathroom

‘Having sex in a bathroom can be a great way to get some privacy with the ability to lock the door and the sounds from the shower helping to disguise the unwanted noise,’ says Ditte.

‘Just remember not to keep the bathroom for too long or your housemates might be slightly irritable when you emerge.’

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Keep it down

Keeping your noise to a minimum doesn’t mean that both your and your partner’s pleasure has to be affected. Ditte adds that this works for solo self-pleasure too, as there are lots of different sex toys that are famous for their quietness and versatility.

Experiment with location

‘If your bed makes too much noise, whether this be banging against the wall or noticeably creaking, experiment with having sex on the floor,’ suggests Ditte.

‘Not only will it reduce noise, switching up location can add to the spontaneity of your sex life, enriching it in the long run.’

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